At TNM Creative Media, we encourage our people to share their stories of business and progression so we can inspire others.
Recently we went camping with Matt Hart as we did a rebrand of his business "Supporting Men". Matt has been a big part of TNM Creative Media as we have introduced his services to our clients for internal communication and team building events.
Read more below as we asked Matt about how we can become better communicators.
Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "that didn't go to plan?
Today I am sharing my 4 powerful questions to help you flip that thought to a more positive outcome:
1. What is NOT being said?
2. Are you really listening?
3. What do they need?
4. What are their values?
What is not being said?
Knowing what is not being said is one of the keys to understanding the person in front of you. The best leaders speak last, is a familiar turn of phrase. We don't just communicate with our words and voice; we use our whole body and energy field. Our words often don't match our body language. If you can be aware of all other factors in the conversation, you will get a more rounded idea of what is going on.
Are you REALLY listening?
Listening is all about gaining an understanding of what someone else wants or needs; some people are better at this than others. Fortunately, it is a skill that can be learned and honed over time. How do I know this? I am the proof in the pudding.
I used to be awful at listening and picking up hints; my wife would leave them all over the place, especially in the lead up to a birthday or an anniversary. I would have no idea, totally in my own world.
I now know, my wife is not a perfume, watches or facials kind of girl. Slowly but surely I took the time to work out what she did appreciate.
How does the person in front of you respond when you say or give them something? What is their truth?
What do they need?
When I ran my own business, I had between 15 to 30 staff at times. I faced the challenge as many do. "How do you get your staff to do what you want consistently?" There is only so far procedures, challenges, and team building exercises will get you.
I found it came down to knowing my people and the need behind what is or isn't being said. I wanted to know them as best I could through having consistent conversations with them.
A conversation is a two-way street, and throughout this time, I became an excellent listener. The secret was I didn't have to say too much at all.
They would talk to me; we built rapport, I earned their trust through listening and being flexible for them.
Over time my business became more efficient, the staff were flexible in return, and we grew as a team.
What do they value?
Ever since running my own business, I have been fascinated by communication and how we can get along better. I know when I am being receptive to what is being said around me. I love to unravel what makes someone go "Ahhh" and feel good about themselves.
I now spend my days supporting men to unravel their own matrix of needs and what they value in life so they can continue to have and to hold.
My work is also being sought after in organisations to support improved internal communication for growing teams because I love to see teams humming along supporting each other so they can produce excellent outcomes.
So next time you are with a work colleague, partner or family member, ask yourself these four questions, and over time you will see your relationships grow and improve.
PHOTOGRAPHY = KENNY BOWER
ARTICLE = TNM CREATIVE MEDIA - MATT HART
SUBJECT = MATT HART, SUPPORTING MEN